How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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