Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
