I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
