It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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