super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
