We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
