just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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