Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
