Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
