I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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