i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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