Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I want to have your abortion
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
