I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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