We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
