They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize