We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
