at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
True college students do jello shots in the library
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
