I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
