My first STD was from a foam party
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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