i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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