no, he came in my armpit
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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