I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
