you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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