hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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