I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
