taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
