New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
