i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
