Pants 0. Shit 1.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
