the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i will never coherently bang her
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
