Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My first STD was from a foam party
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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