I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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