I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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