i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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