$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
