OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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