My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize