is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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