I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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