If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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