Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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