Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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