i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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