Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
