My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
