i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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