Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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