I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
