Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize