So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Shame - the story of my life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
