hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
