We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
