ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
