It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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