Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
