ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
