But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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