Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
