Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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