once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize