im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
