her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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