I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
